Transformed

God never ceases to amaze me. Whether it's His creation, His mighty works, or His redemption, He always does so much more than we can imagine. It amazes me to think back on how God has completely changed my life. Here is how God has truly transformed me...

All women desire to be loved and accepted. This desire consumed me for most of my high school years. I went from one relationship to the next looking for someone to make me feel wanted and loved. No matter how great I thought each guy was, they all let me down some how.

My sophomore year of high school I started dating my boyfriend Brian. I thought He was the one – I had finally found what I was looking for! He became my best friend and I thought that I was going to marry him and finally have my happily ever after. My whole life revolved around him – pleasing him, living for him, wanting to spend every moment with him.

My senior year this was all stripped away from me. Brian was killed in a 4-wheeler accident. My life was turned upside down. I was so angry at God and didn’t understand why He would take this amazing guy, who I loved so much, away from me. Every moment was a struggle and I was consumed by grief. One thing that was different about Brian was that he had an amazing relationship with Jesus. He often talked about how much he loved Christ because of what Jesus had done for him. Brian knew that Jesus Christ loved him so much that He died for all of his sins and gave him the promise of eternal life. Brian believed and trusted in Jesus to forgive him and he surrendered every part of his life to God.

Even though I was so hurt and frustrated with God I realized that I couldn’t get through this situation on my own, so I gave God complete control of my life. I knew that I was a sinner and I thanked Jesus for being the Savior I needed. I surrendered every part of my life to Christ and asked Him to make me the person He wanted me to be. Now my whole life revolves around Christ – pleasing Him, living for Him, wanting to spend every moment with Him.

I soon realized that I had been looking for love in everyone except the one who could give me perfect love. Even though Brian and I had a great relationship, he still failed me and hurt me at times. But Jesus Christ will never let me down, He is the only one who can truly satisfy and fulfill me. Romans 5:8 says “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” There is no greater love than this. I used to think I was “in love” with all my boyfriends in high school and so I lived to try to please them. Now that I am truly in love with my Savior, I live to please Him. His love is the only thing that satisfies and will not leave me looking for something more.

Beyond Forgiveness

God has been teaching me a lot about forgiveness lately. I always considered myself a forgiving person but He is showing me a completely new meaning of forgiveness. It amazes me to think about the forgiveness of Jesus Christ. He has completely washed away all of my sins and He took on the punishment that should have been mine. I deserve God's wrath and Hell but God gave me the exact opposite - His grace and forgiveness.

In Colossians 3:12-14 Paul tells us "Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Paul says to "put on" these actions, meaning that we have to choose to do each of these things, it is not a natural part of our flesh to act in this way. He tells us to forgive others like Christ has forgiven us. Forgiveness goes against our sinful nature so it doesn't come natural for us to forgive others the way Christ has forgiven us. When God forgives us He doesn't hold any grudges, he doesn't have bitterness towards us or our sin, and He shows us love and grace. This is how we are called to forgive.

I have been reading "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow, which I highly recommend! She says "For the Christian, forgiveness is not an option. Jesus commanded us to forgive; He modeled forgiveness for us. Failure to forgive not only wounds our Savior but it destroys us. A lack of forgiveness causes the bitterness plant to take root in our hearts." When we choose to hold on to grudges and have bitterness towards others we are being disobedient to God.

Dillow also says we must go beyond forgiveness. When she had an issue with another person she says that she decided to pray that God would bless her and seek to do "acts of love and acts of kindness". This is something that I have tried to do in the past and it really does change the way you feel about a person who has wronged you. When you see others through Christ's eyes and begin to have a forgiving heart, He will give you compassion, care, and love for them that will lead you to doing good to them despite what you think they deserve.

A few months ago I read about a woman who lives in Asia. Besides her mother, she was the only Christian in her village. They were constantly ridiculed because of their faith and when her mother became terminally ill the people in their village blamed it on their belief in God. After her mother passed away she felt alone but still was faithful to God. One day she was told that some of the officials had broken into her home and stolen her Bible and burned it. However, before the Bible was destroyed it began to rain and put out the fire! (How awesome is our God!) When she came back home and found her Bible nearly destroyed she said "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do." How amazing is that? She said the exact same words that Jesus said when He was being crucified in Luke 23:34. I know that would not be my reaction to people who destroyed something that was so special to me. However, God has reminded me of her words so much lately and it has really challenged me to learn how to forgive like Christ forgave me.

Chosen.

I have been a slacker when it comes to updating my blog...haha. I'm going to try to get better at this! God has been doing some amazing things this semester - He's kept me busy so I'll use that as an excuse as to why I haven't updated recently.

If I had to choose one word to describe how I have felt over the past 4 months working on staff with Campus Crusade at EKU, I would say I have been humbled. It is amazing to me that God has chosen to pull me out of my sin and make me into a new creation. He has chosen to use me for His glory and to proclaim His name to the nations. (Matthew 28:19-20) He has chosen to allow me to have conversations with students who are searching for Him and uses me to proclaim His Gospel. I am not deserving of any of this but that's the amazing thing about my Savior! It's not about what I can do for Him or what I deserve....it's all about what He did for me on the Cross. Praise Him!

One Bible verse that has continually stood out to me over the past few months is:

"For you did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit." John 15:16

I love this verse! Isn't it amazing to know that we are chosen by God - the Creator of this entire universe, and He calls each of His children to go and bear fruit that will last. Even when everyone else fails us it is so comforting to know that we have been loved and chosen by God. Because of this I am humbled.

Another verse that God has been using in my life lately is Romans 12:1-2:

"Therefore, I urge you brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God - this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will."

God's love and mercy towards us never changes. But we have the choice of how we will respond to all that He has done for us. We can choose to reject Him or choose to accept Him and surrender our lives to Him. Paul says that the true way to worship God is to offer our entire life to Him as a living sacrifice. When we allow Christ to transform our lives He renews our minds and teaches our hearts. He allows us to follow His will and to bring Him glory.

We were created for one main purpose, to bring glory to God. God loved me so much that He chose to send Christ to die for me and He chose to rescue me from my sin. It has been a challenge for me to have a proper response to this truth - to fully surrender every area of my life to Jesus and allow Him to transform me completely.

When we remember that God loves each of us personally and has chosen us to go and bear fruit, we will have no other response to His great mercy but to lay down our lives for Him who laid down His entire life for us. It is a challenge for each of us to live this out each day but by the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit we are able to bring glory to our Maker!

Out of these ashes, beauty will rise.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The Lord has continually laid this verse on my heart this summer. Sometimes life can be like a roller coaster, we have our high moments and our low moments and life is usually unpredictable. This has definitely been true in my life, I have had some amazing high moments and some really hard low moments. But through it all, I know the Lord has been with me. He has reminded me this summer that when I am truly seeking Him through His word and prayer, His will is going to be done in my life. He is in control of it all! Despite my circumstances he commands me to be joyful and thankful.

I am so excited for the journey that God is leading me on. God has raised all of the financial support I need to be an intern with Campus Crusade for Christ, so I am now starting to work with our staff team at EKU to plan for this next year. I know that this is God's will for me and I am so excited to see what He does in my life and throughout our campus this year.

This past week I was reminded at how precious life truly is. One of my friends, Hillary Hadley, was killed in a car accident on August 11. She was a leader in our CRU ministry and her passion and love for the Lord showed in everything that she did. Even though it's so hard to understand why things like this happen, I know that I serve a God who is faithful, loving and compassionate. I am so thankful for the assurance that Hillary is with our Savior right now and I know she is so joyful and excited. Hillary was not a Christian when she came to college. She got involved with a Campus Crusade for Christ bible study and that is when Christ changed her life forever. This is such a huge motivation for me to reach out to everyone that the Lord brings into my life. We never know who we can have an eternal impact on, and I pray that God would daily remind me and all other believers that when we share the truth about Christ, we are sharing life with other people! I love the Steven Curtis Chapman song that says "Out of these ashes, beauty will rise" and I pray that we see the truth of this through these circumstances. I pray that God would use Hillary's death just like He used her life, to draw people closer to Him.

Please pray for Hillary's family, friends, and her boyfriend Nick!